


Filth

by clautchy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Backstory, Canon Era, Classism, Death, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Gen, M/M, Mortality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-13
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-08 13:35:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1133258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clautchy/pseuds/clautchy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin Smith knows he's made the right decision in Levi. With Levi in the Survey Corps then maybe less people were going to die and maybe more people would want to join the fight. </p><p>But there was one thing he couldn't predict - falling for the most arrogant, rude and deadpan dickhead he's ever met in his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Follows a bit of the canon we know from 'No Regrets' and then drifts into my own little story which is this. Onwards!

Isabel and Farlan knew his dream was to go beyond the walls. A vision, a ray of light that kept Levi on the path. Without that slither of hope – and on humanity’s downfall, it was simply a slither – Levi was merely a lost mutt, a dirty and crazed animal of untamed anger and destruction.

 

And he really was a filthy mutt, inside and out. Isabel often thought Levi could have been somewhat attractive if it weren’t for his too-gawky face, his sunken eyes and oily hair. His ears stuck out too much. Too much chin. Too _short_. And always covered in mud, shit, fleas. Then again, Isabel couldn’t complain about that since she was part of the same garbage.

 

The three of them had spent a majority of their life knowing garbage – they were both surrounded by it and considered it. Even the poorest families living Underground called them garbage. Trash. It was not a new concept; it was not even particularly offensive. It simply was what they were called and what they truly were. The word ‘thugs’, a more attractive name, was often labeled, but even that could not be entirely accurate. A thug was brute force; a thug had no feelings. Isabel had feelings. Farlan had feelings. And Levi? No matter how much he hid from his emotions and fought the world with anger, he had them too.

 

Which brought the matter entirely back to the wild dream that Levi clutched onto so desperately. No one needed to ask why, but it simply came down to the fact that Levi did not want to be garbage. If he joined the Survey Corps, went beyond the walls, then maybe his crimes would be made up for in fighting for humanity and not against it.

 

And unbeknownst to Levi, the air was shifting and a little bird had sung a song – a mutt was going to get his bone.

 

When Levi woke, his spine hurt. He sat up, rubbing his lower back to ease the pain from sleeping on hard rocks for too long. He wondered how hard it was to steal a mattress.

 

Golden rays of sunlight shone down on him. It was late. He groaned, standing up albeit awkwardly and muscles sore from the hard ground. Speckles of dust glittered in the air, disgustingly romantic. He would admit that he enjoyed basking in sunlight, and he liked that his base was rather a cave than a shack, yet it lacked beds and anything else useful. Still, it was _their_ base and everyone else was _jealous_ because they got the only sunlight in the entirety of the Underground. It was the only place that opened up.

 

Levi needed to piss. He rubbed the sleep out his eyes with the back of his hands as he made his way to a corner, unzipping his fly and pulling out his dick. He yawned, relieving himself.

 

“That’s the most disgusting sound to fucking wake up to,” a voice behind him growled, hoarse and pitchy. Isabel was filth enough to drink the same sewer water with him but she still complained about the habits of men. It was her fault for retaining decency when she wanted to make water.

 

“At least I’m not taking a shit,” Levi replied coolly, zipping up his fly when he was done. “Give Farlan a kick in the face if he doesn’t wake up in a minute,” Levi said as he stepped over the creek that trickled through the cave towards his gear. He started strapping himself up, refraining from teasing Isabel as she went around the corner to piss.

 

When Isabel returned she promptly kicked Farlan, not in the face but in the stomach, and proceeded to strap on her gear with Levi. It was a long, arduous process, with buckles to tighten all over the body and maneuver gear that needed a gentle hand should it break – it was bootleg after all. They couldn’t afford top dollar gear. Even the black market was too upmarket for their sorry asses.

 

Later on, when they were all geared up and ready to fly, Levi bumped into a prole. They were even wearing their hoods, and the prole was still stupid enough to think he could bring justice by educating the three of them on the etiquette of accidentally brushing past people. Levi knocked him down easily enough, with the help of Isabel’s over-enthusiasm for hurting people and Farlan’s calculated and decisive moves.

 

The song was in its prelude.

 

Levi and his gang ransacked a stall. They fought against another gang. They made business with the mobsters who could afford all those things off the black market and luxuries like whores and opium. It was another day, as far as any of them could tell.

 

Isabel drank from the canteen they shared among the three of them thirstily. “Isn’t it nice to be able to drink fresh water?” she asked happily, licking her wet lips. “Remember before we got that cave? I think I would have really died if I had to drink any more of that shit water.”

 

“Literally, you would have died,” Farlan said. “We all would have. That’s why we made sure we got the cave.”

 

“I know that _, idiot_. I’m just saying it’s nice that we get to drink good water.”

 

“Yes, because the cave has fresh water running through it.”

 

“I know,” Isabel growled, “so we’re not gonna die. Because sewer water has shit in it.”

 

“That’s why it’s called sewer water.”

 

“I know!” Isabel cried out angrily. “I’m only saying!”

 

“Shut up, Isabel,” Levi said. Levi didn’t command, Isabel knew that. He was their leader but the only time he ever gave orders was when they were in the air, when they needed the coordination.

 

Isabel poked her tongue out at him, “Fuck you.”

 

“Fuck yourself.”

 

“Gladly, want to watch?” Isabel retorted, sticking up her middle finger. She felt like she was treading water now, maybe sounding like she wanted to fuck Levi. She didn’t, of course. He was an ugly son-of-a-bitch.

 

Instead, Levi ignored her. They walked down a mostly quiet street, save a starving dog begging for scraps from some kids.

 

“Let’s fly,” Levi said. The grappling hooks sped out from his maneuver gear and within an instant he had disappeared into the shadows above. Isabel and Farlan followed, spreading out on either side as scouts.

 

They couldn’t have been in the air for more than ten minutes before trouble happened. It started with a sighting. Was it Military Police? It only took a moment to check the crest on their cloaks to see the trademark Wings of Freedom. The Survey Corps. The soldiers who risked their lives outside the wall to save humanity. Of course, that was the tagline. The reality was a waste of taxpayer dollars for men and women to have themselves killed.

 

But these soldiers had experience. They took down Isabel and Farlan, and when they were dragged back to meet with the leader of the team who hunted them down, Isabel knew hope was lost when Levi yielded.

 

All of their weapons were taken from them. Isabel managed to kick one of the bastards in the dick when he started a frisk search on her. Farlan and Levi didn’t say anything at all.

 

One by one, they were lined up on their knees in the mud. Isabel could see the anger pulsating off Levi, the untamed, animalistic desire within him beginning to rise. He was ready to burst into flames, to bite and scratch and _maim._

 

Levi’s head was thrust into thick mud. Levi gagged, gasping as one of the soliders pulled his head back up. Levi glowered with intense hatred. “You bastard,” he spat.

 

“Your name?”

 

Levi paused, trying not to shiver as the cold mud dripped down his back. “It’s Levi.”

 

To Levi’s surprise, the leader, the blonde one, knelt down to Levi’s level and smiled at him. “Levi. Won’t you strike a deal with me?”


	2. Chapter 2

Levi didn’t talk. He wanted to, or rather, wanted to break all their fucking necks, but instead he stayed quiet. When he accepted to the terms, Smith – that was the bastard’s name that beat him at his own game – had him admitted to the hospital ward at the Survey Corps headquarters immediately for quarantine. Levi was humiliated by the whole ordeal, his clothes taken away from him and his entire naked body scrubbed clean by nurses. Then a doctor looked at him all over too, assessed how filthy he was and gave him pills for the cough and cream for the rash. 

They cleaned his nails, too. Pulled off all the dead skin on his hands and feet then picked out the germs and dirt that had been collecting there for God knows how long. Then they stuck needles into his muscles and veins, testing for scientific names Levi had never heard of and taking his blood. Still, Levi never said a word.

When they had finished telling him how filthy he was, they measured all his parts and gave him new clothes. He didn’t have the official Survey Corps uniform, not yet. He wasn’t a soldier.

Finally, they took him to a room. It was small and untouched, but it was his and that was more than he ever had. They brought him in a hot meal and he ate it quickly, stuffing his mouth until he had fat drippings dribbling down his chin. And the drink, he had no idea what it was, but it was the best thing he had ever had. It had to be expensive, maybe one of those Scotches or Whiskeys all the rich men drank. 

It was three hours before anyone came to check up on him. The door creaked open, and the asshole Smith appeared at the doorway. His doorway. It was his door now. 

Levi was lying down in his cot. He had been concentrated on the ceiling for a while and was a little annoyed that Smith had interrupted him. He gave the blonde fucker an acknowledging glance, then returned his attention to the ceiling. It was surprisingly detailed, the plaster in the design of an elaborate wreath around the skirting. Levi had been counting the cracks. 

Smith stood at the doorway for a while, maybe waiting for Levi to verbally invite him in. Taking the glance as enough, he took a seat and brought it up near Levi’s bed, leaning back comfortably with his hands behind his head. 

“I take it you are comfortable?”

Levi said nothing, gave a shrug.

“The medical team said they couldn’t get a word out of you, either,” Smith said, like it was some kind of joke. Levi wished the guy would leave him alone. He might have been friendlier if the asshole hadn’t had swords at his friends’ necks. 

Smith picked up one of his bottles of pills from the bedside table. Levi wanted to snatch it out of his hands, tell him it’s not fucking yours, even though he didn’t even want to take the pills. But it was an excuse to punch him in the face.

“You don’t look that sick,” Smith smiled gingerly, reading the label on the bottle. “Looks like most of this shit’s for just in case. But you do look much better now that you’ve freshened up.” Smith put the bottle back. The opportunity to punch him in his stupid face was gone.

It was silent for a minute, Smith keeping a steady eye on Levi. Levi refused to take his eyes off the ceiling. He wasn’t giving in to some hotshot pretty boy. Make it difficult, might as well.

“Levi,” Smith sighed, “I need you to cooperate. I know this isn’t the most comfortable of situations, but I would really like to trust you and for that to happen I need you to talk to me. We cannot make this work if you are unwilling to cooperate, otherwise you will be seeing the Military Police.”

That pulled a string. “Still threatening me?” Levi turned his head, fire in his eyes. “You were going to kill my friends. What choice did I have?”

“Don’t you want to join the Survey Corps, Levi? I saw how you moved. There’s a reason you’re here, and it’s not because I forced you.”

The answer was yes, he did want to join. In fact, the thought of going outside the walls made him ecstatic and it was something he hadn’t ever felt. But he wasn’t going to give Smith the satisfaction of being right.

“You tell yourself that, pig,” Levi spat out the last word. 

Smith rubbed his temples with his thumb and forefinger. “We can sit here arguing all day, if you want, but I simply don’t have the time. Get up, I’ll take you around the headquarters. You’re going to become a soldier as soon as you can, and I’m making sure of it.”

“And if I fail?” 

“Then I lost ten bucks.”

Smith stood up and opened the door, waiting for Levi. Asshole.

*** 

General Erwin Smith, as he was formally called, did not bother asking Levi to refer to him as General. Levi didn’t respect him and didn’t trust him – not yet, anyway. He hoped to change that, but the boy hadn’t even been issued with his own uniform and 3DMG. 

Erwin knew he was taking a gamble when he asked Levi to join the Survey Corps, however. Even if Levi could be straightened out into a good soldier, the question was whether his new comrades were willing to fight alongside him. But Erwin had seen the talent in Levi; totally unharnessed and full of passion. 

But before he made him a soldier, he needed to make Levi a friend. 

First, he took Levi around the grounds of their headquarters. In the central courtyard, a handful of soldiers were sparring to pass the time. Just behind the courtyard were the stables.

“You’ll be given a horse too, for riding beyond the walls,” Erwin told him in the hopes that Levi would lighten up.

“I hate horses,” Levi said sullenly. He reared up defensively when one of the horses poked its head above the gate, nudging Levi’s arms. “Fucking disgusting sack of shit.”

Erwin rolled his eyes, but moved on. Instead, Erwin took Levi around the rest of the grounds where there was the opportunity to practice tactics for beyond the walls. Yet it was on the inside where the action resided.

“This is the mess hall, where you’ll be eating all your meals. Breakfast is between six and seven, and dinner is from eight to ten.”

Levi glanced around the empty hall, “Does it fit the entire Survey Corps?”

“Yes.”

“It’s a bit small.”

Levi walked out of the hall and Erwin groaned to himself. As it were, Levi hadn’t had one positive thing to say. 

“This is the library,” Erwin said as he ushered Levi into another room. “It’s used for recreational purposes, but our scientific team is often here to find references and sources of history that might prove useful.”

Levi bit on his lip, “Don’t read that much.”

It occurred to Erwin that maybe Levi didn’t know _how_ to read, considering just how poor this boy was. It was also a possibility that Levi did not have parents to teach him how to read, either. Nevertheless, that would have to change. He had to read maps, instructions, write out reports and read ten more. 

“It passes the time,” Erwin said lamely. “Come.” He took Levi up to his own quarters, then. “I expect I’ll be seeing you quite a bit considering the reason you’re here is because of me. And, if there’s ever a problem, you talk to me.”

“What kind of problem?” Levi asked suspiciously.

“Well,” Erwin had to be careful here, “if you feel that your needs aren’t tended to, or if you are uncomfortable with your treatment.”

Levi glared at him, but he always glared. The tough-guy attitude he had been keeping up was a hassle. The act was so good it seemed Levi had no feelings at all, but Erwin had seen past that. Only fleeting, but it was there. Somehow, he had to get past that wall that blocked everyone from getting through. Erwin wanted to break though. He wanted to know the person behind the cold stare.

“Levi, sit down,” Erwin gestured to the chair in front of his desk. Erwin resumed his own seat, giving Levi a steady look. When Erwin had Levi thrown into the mud Underground, he thought he was filth. He reeked of piss and blood and his body was crawling with disease. Now that had all been stripped off him, it seemed a layer had been peeled off Levi. His hair was soft, hanging down his forehead neatly. Erwin could see the tendons and the muscle poking out, lean rather than bulky. Even his hands, which were once black from dirt, were slender. He was _delicate._ There seemed no other way of putting it. 

“What the fuck are you looking at?” Levi snarled, breaking the silence.

“For someone who almost managed to slip from the grasps of some very well-trained men, you’re very small.”

Levi shuffled in his seat, “Yeah, what of it? Fuck off.”

Erwin smiled, “There’s no need to be ashamed of being small.”

“I’m not fucking ashamed. There’s nothing to be fucking ashamed about. Fuck you.”

“Okay, but you can say that without swearing.”

“Why? Fuck you. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. I’ll say fuck as much as I fucking want. You fucking piss me off.”

“And why do I piss you off?”

“You being all fucking calm all the time. You’re rich and get what you fucking want. And your stupid fucking eyebrows.”

Erwin wanted to laugh. Eyebrows? That was new. “How old are you, Levi?”

The sudden change of subject threw him off. Levi cast a wary glance. “I thought rich people all thought that was a rude question to ask.”

“I’m not rich,” Erwin said. “I only want to know. We have to write down your details for our records, anyway.”

“I could lie.”

“You could,” Erwin shrugged, “but that wouldn’t be in your favour. How old are you, truly?”

“How old are you?” Levi retorted.

“Thirty-three this year,” Erwin replied coolly.

Levi hesitated. “Twenty-nine. I’m twenty-nine. I was born in June. I don’t know the day.”

_Twenty-nine?_ He looked nineteen, more like. His skin was still soft and unscathed. Even if his sunken eyes said they were fifty, Erwin couldn’t believe it.

“How long are you gonna gape like a dumb fish at me?” Levi snapped, looking away from Erwin. Maybe he was embarrassed. Erwin only laughed. He was totally embarrassed. 

“You’re twenty-nine?” Erwin simply said.

Levi’s cheeks flushed and he stood up quickly. “I’m going back to my room. Screw you.” He turned for the door.

“Do you know how to get back?” 

“Don’t need your help,” Levi grumbled. “Fuck you, you and your dumbass eyebrows.”

“A soldier usually salutes before his superior,” Erwin reminded him playfully as Levi swung open his door.

“Here’s your salute,” Levi raised his middle finger at Erwin. 

Erwin grinned, “Close enough.” He thought Levi really did despise him, until Levi cast him one last glance, a secret smile tugging on the corner of his lips. Then the moment was gone and the sullen stare was back, then Levi had disappeared into the empty corridors.

Erwin leaned back in his chair, humming softly. Levi could have truly hated him, for plucking him from his friends and as he would put it, _turning him into a mindless soldier,_ but there was something that told Erwin Levi wanted to join the Survey Corps beyond redemption. Maybe, as Erwin had once dreamed as a young boy in the training corps, Levi dreamed of freedom and glory too.

But there were layers to be stripped away, first. Levi was simply clay at this point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've already pre-written the first four or five chapters, so expect suuper frequent updates. For now I've taken away the archive warnings but later on there's probably going to be some pretty gory chapters if I'm game enough.


	3. Chapter 3

The mess hall was a buzz, soldiers eating and drinking together and Levi was the outsider. He wasn’t exactly sure what to do, come to think of it. Everyone else was getting trays and taking food from various pots and plates. But where was he going to sit? Truth be told, he didn’t want to sit near _anyone._

Instead, he stood by the mess hall entrance for a good five minutes contemplating whether he would skip dinner in favour of the silence of his room. He was still getting used to the sound of that on his tongue – _his room._ He liked knowing something belonged to him. 

He sighed, then with a small act of courage strode over to the serving area and grabbed a tray. He kept his head down, trying to act natural, not be seen or heard. It was easier that way. Quickly, he scooped up potatoes and grabbed the first slice of meat he saw then stacked a plate up with vegetables. He would have taken more if he weren’t trying to act inconspicuous. 

Levi had already scouted for a table. Not drawing any attention to himself, he sat at the table furthest away from everyone else, utterly alone. He hunched over, pushing the warm food into his mouth too fast for him to chew. He knew he didn’t have to, but it was habit. Underground, there usually wasn’t a lot of food. And he felt a little pissed that all the while these privileged pigs had been served the very finest while thousands starved underneath their feet. He bet none of them even knew what it was like to be hungry.

Someone noticed him not too long after.

They approached him with ease, a friendly smile and a confident walk. Levi wiped his mouth with his sleeves, holding back a snarl. 

“Hi!” the soldier said, a tall and well-toned man with dark eyes and brown skin. “You look a bit lonely, are you new?”

Levi wanted to say, “fuck off”, but now wasn’t the time. He nodded once, stiffly. 

“Great!” The asshole was way too happy, too forced and smiled too much. Levi hated him for that. “My name’s Rupert. I’m a first year too. Did you transfer from the Garrison? We had Emily transfer just last week.”

The words _first year_ echoed in his brain and he remembered Number One Asshole Smith looking at him incredulously when he told him his age. Did this little bitch think he was young enough to be a _first year?_

His own thoughts were making him angry. He slowly rose from his seat, staring at _fucking Rupert_ dead in the eye. “Leave me alone, and I won’t stab you with this fucking knife.” He was holding the butter knife tightly in his fist. It wasn’t as good as his collection of knives (confiscated) or his knuckle dusters (also confiscated) but any good throw with a blade no matter how dull could still do damage. 

Rupert backed down, eyes wide, “Dude, I was just being friendly, I didn’t –”

“Fuck you and your fucking friendly attitude,” Levi spat. Then he said, “Shit.” He was drawing attention. Heads had turned. People saw his face. 

From another table, a female soldier stood up, “Break it up, you two. There’s enough fighting outside the walls.”

Rupert took a few steps back, “You’re crazy.”

That did it.

Levi often fell into a blur when he lost control. He didn’t remember much, his fighting skills reduced to a messy brawl on the ground. Other soldiers joined, either in attempt to break it up or to fend for the dumbass first year. Levi managed to avoid most punches only by his good reflexes, but still copped a blow to the face and a wallop in the stomach that left him wheezing for a few seconds before he recovered. There were the sounds of bones crunching in the fray, limbs attacking and defending, voices shouting in a cacophony of noise. 

Then it suddenly disappeared, left only with Levi holding the butter knife at a soldier’s throat. Levi looked up, as did his victim, into the burning glare of Number One Asshole Smith. _Well shit._

“Put down the knife, Levi,” Smith said with conviction, yet softly. He didn’t sound angry, but… disappointed.

Levi wasn’t sure why he didn’t just drop the knife. It would have made things a lot easier. Instead, he pulled his arm back then stabbed it into the guy’s shoulder bone. He screamed in pain, blood pumping out of the gaping wound. Levi dropped the knife, now bloody, and three soldiers grabbed him from behind and held him in a deadlock. He looked up to Smith almost guiltily.

*** 

It was nothing but cruel and bitter silence in Erwin’s quarters for a full ten minutes. Levi looked anywhere but at Erwin – at the ground and the ceiling and at all the small objects on his desk, but always careful to avoid Erwin’s stare. Erwin wanted him to feel uncomfortable, to maybe make the guilt settle in his stomach and to realize the consequences of what he had done. To an extent, Erwin thought he really was dealing with a wild animal – or rather, a dog whose breed was domesticated but this particular mutt had gone astray. 

Levi hadn’t even started _training._ It was the first night and already Levi had caused severe injuries onto a number of soldiers including _digging a butter knife into someone’s shoulder._ Fortunately, he hadn’t severed any arteries. Yet Erwin was concerned about even bringing Levi outside the walls. If he could hardly stomach a friendly hello, then how was he ever to cooperate with anyone else? He had to follow orders and work as a unit. 

“Levi,” Erwin said finally. Levi still didn’t meet his gaze. “I hope you realize what you’ve done.”

Levi said nothing.

“I’ve taken a very big risk in taking you here. My squad and even _my_ superiors think that you are a very bad idea. They believe that there is no hope for you to become a soldier simply because you were raised in such a hopeless situation.” He paused, waiting to see whether Levi would react. Again, nothing, so he continued. “I don’t believe that. I think you have the potential and there’s no doubt the talent isn’t there. I want you to know that I don’t think you’re second rate, if that’s what you’re afraid of –”

“I’m not afraid,” Levi interjected. His tone was less harsh, more honest.

“Okay, good. But already, you have a lot of emotions you’re not very good at controlling. We need to address that, and I told you that I am willing to listen to anything you have to say. What happened tonight, I can report as a provoked incident. No one will be blamed. But if you do something like this again, then it will be harder for me to keep you here.”

It was silent again, for a good minute. Levi wanted to do something to show that he was bored, impassive, like glance at his nails or sigh loudly. But he did none of those things because for some reason, he did feel guilty. The disappointment in Smith’s eyes killed him and he was just starting to understand why: because Smith really did believe in him.

“Are you going to try, Levi? To be a good person? Can you do that for me?” Erwin asked.

Hesitantly, Levi nodded. 

“Look me in the eye and say you’ll try.”

Levi raised his head, and for the first time the entire meeting Levi met Erwin’s eyes. “I’ll try,” he said, not blinking.

“Good. Dismissed. I want you to report to my quarters at eight hundred hours tomorrow.”

Levi stood up and headed for the door. He looked behind him, “What’s the salute?”

Erwin stared at him, abashed. “The salute? It’s…” Erwin rose from his chair. He put his right arm in front, his fist on his heart and his left arm behind. “You give your heart to humanity with your salute.”

And like the mutt was learning how to sit, Levi copied Erwin’s salute. Then he bowed his head, “General.” He was gone after that. 

_That was easier than expected,_ Erwin thought to himself. 

The next morning, Levi was twenty minutes early at Erwin’s door. In fact, Erwin was still breaking his fast at his desk hunched over a damned report when Levi strolled in (without knocking, mind). Erwin told him that soldiers had to request permission to enter rooms, which Levi snorted at but at least, seemed to remember for the next time.

While it wasn’t exactly Erwin’s field of expertise, or even in his job description, Erwin had taken it upon himself to be Levi’s mentor and instructor. Sure, it meant late nights to finish reports, preparing strategies, filing, tax forms, but no one else was willing to help Levi. 

Which was a little sad, as despite it all Erwin kind of liked Levi’s company. 

“In the Training Corps, the first thing they do is test your ability to balance in 3D air. But since I already know you can use the maneuver gear, we’re going to start with some more advanced tests.”

Levi raised a thin eyebrow to that. So, throughout the morning, Erwin tested Levi’s reflexes; flexibility; strength; eye, hand and body coordination; even had him shooting targets at their shooting range. Not surprisingly, Levi perfected every test. Erwin was simply dumbfounded at Levi’s reflex time – it was like he knew what was already going to happen. 

After Erwin had forced Levi some food around noon (Levi had skipped breakfast in order to avoid the mess hall), Erwin read out various situations that Levi had to dissect. For example, if you were on flat ground and had to fight a Titan single-handedly, how would you approach the situation strategically? Critically, Levi was able to evaluate the methods of approach and come up with different tactics, but Levi was certainly no strategist. But that hardly mattered: Levi was going to be the one killing the Titans, not making the orders. 

And finally, although Levi had remained quiet on the subject entirely, Erwin had Levi issued with his own 3DMG and Survey Corps uniform, cape and all. 

“And it’s mine?” Levi asked.

“All yours,” Erwin nodded.

From the look on Levi’s face, he was desperate to try the gear. “Put it all on. I’ll wait for you in the quad.”

When Levi approached the quad, Erwin was not going to deny that he didn’t look like a true soldier. If Levi was short (which he was), then it certainly didn’t matter when he wore the gear – his small frame bulked out with the gear and it clung to his body like it was part of him rather than an awkward contraption that it looked like on others.

“Good?” Erwin asked.

“Sturdy. Doesn’t feel like it’s gonna break in half.”

“Well, you did have bootleg gear,” Erwin pointed out. “Now, as you might notice, the quad is set up to be a course specifically for 3D maneuvering. The columns are designed for you to grapple on to. On the far side, you’ll notice there are metal hoops. Some are quite large, some small. You have to guide yourself through all those hoops. In the centre you’ll see a row of poles that progressively get closer. There, you crisscross in between each pole. And closest to us, is free space to test your speed – how quickly you can maneuver from one side of the quad to the other, how quickly you can get yourself into the air and get back onto the ground. We sometimes even take in a horse, to train the soldiers to maneuver themselves onto horseback from the air.”

Erwin hoped Levi might look the slightest bit intimidated. Instead, he shrugged. “Sounds easy enough.”

“Well,” Erwin frowned, “it’s not _supposed_ to be.”

Levi gave him a look. _Now it’s a challenge._ “Where do I start?”

Erwin decided to ease Levi into the tests, starting with the free space. He wrote everything down, the times and Levi’s fluidity, skills and movements. But, being in the main quad had its one downfall: the space itself. It was entirely open, and the centre of the headquarters. It meant that every single soldier would often walk around the quad – or sometimes through it, when not occupied. And having Levi basically showcase his skill caught the attention of _a lot_ of soldiers.

“Isn’t that the crazy bastard who stabbed Reg with a butter knife?” Erwin overheard as he was noting down Levi’s movements. 

“Fuck me it is, and the guy can _move._ ”

When Erwin moved Levi to the more difficult tests on maneuvering (first, the poles), Levi even caught the eye of Squad Leader Hanji Zoe. She stood beside Erwin, watching Levi crisscross through each pole with avid fascination.

“He’s not yours to test. You’ve got Titans,” Erwin reminded her.

“But look at how he moves!” she said excitedly, “What was the time of that? She hovered over Erwin’s notes. “I don’t understand how someone can move that _fast._ You have to let me ask him a few questions.”

“Ask all you want. But he might not want to talk to you.”

“Oh, I’ll make him talk,” Hanji smiled. 

Levi finished the rest of the tests with ease, even the smallest of rings proving to be effortless for him. Hanji was right: how _does_ he move that fast? Erwin had to repeat some tests simply because he couldn’t believe the seconds Levi did it in. But then again, why not believe it? Anyone could tell that Levi _belonged_ in the air, the gear truly an extension of his body, not just some stupid contraption. Levi reminded Erwin why their crest was called The Wings of Freedom. 

It was simple: Levi could fly. In the air, he was weightless. There was no flaw in the movement, every obstacle adaptable and Levi relentlessly precise. 

Levi landed beside Erwin, landing with cat-like grace. There was hardly a bead of sweat on him.

“Levi, your test results are remarkable.”

“Who were you talking with before?” Levi asked.

“Hanji Zoe. Specialist scientific squad. Uh, and about your _results,_ ” Erwin brought the subject back on hand. “I’m not complaining, in fact they’re fantastic. But I have to ask the question: how do you move so fast? It was what caught Hanji’s eye. She asked the same thing.”

Levi shrugged. “Ask your soldiers why they move so slow.”

“If you’re manipulating your body movement in a certain way…”

“I don’t know,” Levi said impatiently. “I’m not the one with military training, right?”

Well, that was true. Which only made Levi an even more puzzling case. “I’m only trying to understand.” He paused. “I’m not entirely praising you, either. Your skill is useless to us if you can’t cooperate.”

“I am cooperating right now,” Levi grumbled. “You want me to get down on my knees and lick your feet while we’re at it?”

“ _No,_ I’m not the army. Everyone around you is the army. When you’re outside of these walls, you’re a cohesive unit. Fight against it and the entire structure collapses.”

Levi clicked his tongue in annoyance, but held his tongue. 

“Shower off and cool down, Levi. You’ve done well today.” 

Erwin couldn’t help but feel like a proud mother hen when Levi saluted before taking his leave. 

In the evening, when Erwin had resumed his default position at his desk with his shoulders hunched as he scribbled out memos, filed reports and stamped ten more. An untouched bowl of chicken noodle soup cooled beside him. He figured it could wait, since Levi had taken so much time out of his day. What he didn’t expect was another encounter with Levi. The door flew open, Levi donning a plain white shirt, black pants, a well-fitted blazer and dress shoes. He sat down in front of Erwin, picking up the bowl of soup.

“There’s a mess hall for a reason,” Erwin said lightly, looking up from his paperwork.

“Too many pigs,” Levi said through a mouthful of noodles. God, it was like he had never eaten before. 

“I’d watch who you call a pig, chubby cheeks.”

Levi glared, “Fuck off.” Broth dribbled down the side of his mouth. 

Erwin just laughed. “Tomorrow, you’re going back into the mess hall. I want you to make friends. They’re your comrades, the least you could do is befriend them.”

Levi swallowed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, “Don’t like people.”

“Well, you keep showing up at my door, so I don’t know what to make of that.”

Levi blinked, pausing momentarily. “Were you gonna eat this?”

“Yes.”

Then he shrugged and stood up. “There’s a mess hall for a reason. See you tomorrow, Smith.”

Erwin couldn’t believe his nerve. “Erwin,” he said automatically. 

“Smith, Erwin, asshole, all the same,” Levi left, salute absent. Then again, he wasn’t being particularly formal from start to finish. 

Mess hall it was, then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel I should clarify- this is set obviously before the Titans attack Shiganshina, so Erwin isn't the big boy in charge yet. I also only understand how any army works from Catch-22 and Full Metal Jacket, so this is fairly limiting. 
> 
> Thanks for everyone's lovely comments, they mean a lot x


	4. Chapter 4

Levi was certain he had an entire corridor to himself. He never saw anyone else. He preferred it, of course. It meant there was space to think.

He enjoyed a warm shower. It was still a luxury to him, the instant hot water. Yet it wasn’t habit to shower, either. He had to remind himself to make it as part of his morning routine. Underground, he would go weeks without showering or even changing clothes.

Even the _clean towels_ were a luxury. He decided to dress in his military uniform, hoping Erwin would ask him to use the 3DMG again. He spent half the night cleaning and polishing his already-new gear, and the other half examining his blades and sharpening them to a perfect edge.

But when he approached Erwin’s door, he was left at a loss when he found the door was locked. He knocked on the wood, hoping Erwin was inside. No answer. Levi swore, glancing around the empty corridor. What was he going to do? He shuffled down the hallway, peeked around the corner and saw no one. Everyone was in the mess hall, he assumed. He certainly wasn’t going.

Levi had an idea. Erwin told him that he could only use the 3DMG with authorization, but an hour couldn’t hurt. He made his way back to his room and strapped on his gear before taking off for the main quad. He passed a few soldiers but they paid him no attention.

Standing in the middle of the field, Levi surveyed the area above him. He only needed a second glance to figure out what he wanted to do. Then the grappling hooks shot out and he jumped into the air. He flew, twisting around the tall columns with ease then shooting around the edge of the quad to gain more momentum. He started to aim for the ground, and at the very last second pulled himself up, hurtling into the air in graceful somersaults.

He had barely been up in the air for ten minutes before he became aware there were people watching him. It wasn’t that he was self-conscious, he just didn’t want to draw attention to himself.

He descended, landing on his feet with perfect balance. He saw faces: curious and questioning, wondering who he was and what he was doing. Levi deadpanned them and started walking off the quad.

“So your name’s Levi?”

Levi turned his head, the face familiar. She had dark, messy hair and thick-rimmed glasses with a hard jaw. It was the woman Erwin had been talking to yesterday. What was her name?

“What of it, Four-Eyes?” Levi remembered Erwin telling him to make friends.

“Hanji Zoe,” Hanji held her hand out. Levi wasn’t going to shake it, but she grabbed his hand and slapped it against hers anyway. “Scientific squad. You know, I saw you yesterday. I just have to ask about you. We can talk over coffee sometime.”

“Coffee?” Levi said slowly, a little suspiciously.

“Yeah, tomorrow or something? I, just – physics is a little fascination of mine. I mean, the human body itself can only go so fast on its own, and even with the maneuver gear it still limits us, but you’re an exception.”

“Good reflexes,” Levi mumbled sourly. “I don’t really…”

“So tomorrow? Find me later. I’ve got to run – I’ve got these test samples that have just finished processing.” Hanji started to walk away, “But ask Erwin, he knows me so it should be fine!” She ran down a hallway, and had disappeared as fast as she had arrived. Levi blinked. _What the fuck is coffee?_

When Levi turned around, people had started to crowd around him. Oh no…

“Excuse me,” Levi muttered as he tried to push past one of the soldiers. He stepped aside and Levi hurried back to his room. He took off his gear, dumping it on his bed.

He lay down on the floor, staring at the ceiling. The floor was hard and cold and dusty but he didn’t mind. It was calming, still, quiet. He stayed there for a few minutes, thinking of Erwin and Hanji and the soldiers he was supposed to call his comrades.

Then, he got up and did something he had never done before. He found his way to the hospital wing, where a man lay with bandages over his left shoulder. He stirred when Levi approached, started to freak and call for help.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Levi said, dragging a chair to the man’s bed.

“Keep away from me you fucking crazy –”

“I’m saying sorry.”

The man stared. “Sorry?”

“Yes, I’m sorry I stabbed you,” Levi sighed, wondering if he should even try to sound a little less impassive.

“W-well, sorry _not_ accepted. You hurt a lot of people. I was only trying to help break it up!”

“We all have bad days,” Levi said through a sigh. There were a million things swimming in his head, things he could have said to sound more sympathetic, more guilty and desperate for forgiveness. None of it came out, though. He was too stunted for feelings. Levi stood up, “I wasted your time. If you can’t forgive me, there’s no point being here.”

He headed for the door.

“Wait.”

Levi turned his head around.

“You’re still an asshole, but… then again, everyone’s saying you came from Underground. They’re also saying you’re the best at 3D gear. If you are, then I’ll forgive you. Only because I have this stupid hunch you’re going to be doing a lot of saving later.”

“Saving?”

“Outside the walls. Everyone’s talking about you. They say you’re faster than a bullet. So when you go outside the walls, you’ll be the reason why less people die.”

_You’ll be the reason why less people die._

Sentimental. Levi bowed his head, wanting to say thank you but his throat suddenly felt dry. He left the ward, feeling a little ill. _Everyone’s talking about you._

***

Erwin found Levi in the library. It wasn’t that he had been _looking_ – he just thought maybe it was worth a shot to poke his head in the doorway. There he was, sitting at a writing desk with a paperback in his hands with a dull look on his face. Maybe it meant he was enjoying it, but that just seemed his default expression. It was hard to tell.

He sat down opposite Levi. “I heard about your spectacle this morning. Caused quite a stir, let me tell you. Everyone wants to know who you are. You introduce yourself with a fight and now you’re flaunting your skills.”

Levi glared at him. He pulled a piece of paper from a pad in the centre of the table and grabbed a pencil, furiously writing. He shoved the paper underneath Erwin’s nose.

**SHUT THE FUK UP WHERE IN A LIBRAY**

Erwin couldn’t tell if Levi was joking or not, but decided to play along with it. He wrote down something and pushed it across the table.

**I didn’t know you could read.**

Levi rolled his eyes and wrote down a reply.

**no i just like lookin at all the pikshures u dik**

God, Levi’s writing was appalling. Erwin scribbled a witty reply and pushed the note back.

**Your spelling doesn’t lend you any credit.**

Levi wrote a reply back angrily.

**well SORY for not beeing so ~~privlegd~~ privilged fukface**

That did make Erwin feel a little guilty. Then again, at least Levi could read and write, to an extent. He wondered if Levi taught himself to read or had someone to help him. Did he ever have a mother or father to tell him what the letters meant?

There wasn’t a lot of space left on the piece of paper. Erwin fit in one last sentence.

**You should come to the mess hall tonight.**

Levi wrote over the entire page, making it difficult to read when he got the paper back.

**Y DO U ALWAYS CHANGE TOPICK??!!!**

Erwin screwed up the paper into a ball, “I still want you to come to the mess hall.”

“No.”

“I’ll hold your hand if you’re so afraid of other people,” Erwin teased.

“No,” Levi repeated, a little more embarrassed.

“You’re not eating my dinner again, I can assure you that. Look, it’ll be fine. I’ll introduce you to a few people, see if you can connect with any of them…” he trailed off, the look in Levi’s face an expression of sheer disgust. “You sit there and I do the talking for you?” Erwin suggested instead.

“Maybe,” Levi said. He stood up, leaving the paperback open and facedown. Erwin picked it up, reading the title. He laughed loudly, “Hah!”

_How to be a Gentleman: 101 Ways to Evoke Charm_

Erwin was still snickering to himself when he made his way back to his quarters.

The layers had been peeling away quicker than Erwin had expected. It felt nice, to try and work out what someone was like. And it was nice to see someone who had made a barrier between them and he world to finally start breaking through.

Erwin couldn’t even believe his luck at the library today, either. Passing notes like teenagers in class – it made him giddy thinking about it. It was _A Moment,_ with capital letters and all. It was shared and it was real. They teased and they joked, and like most instances it was cut short.

They were standing outside the mess hall and Erwin wouldn’t deny that Levi’s nervousness to meet comrades as friends wasn’t cute. From the tough-guy who cussed every minute to mumbling and fumbling hands, it was almost hard to believe Erwin was talking to the same person.

“But I really can hold your hand, no one will judge you.” _They might judge you, but I really can hold your hand._

“I’m not a baby,” Levi mumbled defensively.

“You’re a baby,” Erwin ruffled his hair. It was soft.

Levi patted his hair down quickly, “Piss off. Let’s do this.”

Erwin led him inside. He expected heads to turn. First of all, it wasn’t often that Erwin _ever_ dined with his comrades. There was a reason he requested his meals be brought to him and that was related to the fact that he was always swamped with work. Secondly, and more notably, the Survey Corps were going to get a new opinion on Levi.

Erwin had spent a good portion of the morning talking to a circle of comrades he considered close allies and friends to treat Levi nicely – and simply human. Levi’s small stunt in the morning made his job of putting Levi’s reputation back on track a lot easier as well. These soldiers, after all, had seen blood and death. Seeing someone snap wasn’t a rarity. And these soldiers were all, to an extent, outcasts. Even when he had been a teenager in the Training Corps, many had shunned him for wanting to join the Survey Corps.

Which was all fair enough since a lot of people died.

He quickly brushed the thoughts to the back of his head. Now wasn’t the time.

It was moments like this that Erwin respected and totally admired eccentricity. “Hey, Erwin! Spend more time socializing with the plebs and you’ll be out of a job!” An old friend, Nigel, yelled out.

“At least I’ll be doing what I love,” Erwin quipped, piling up his tray with food.

“What, you’re not married to your paperwork yet?” Hanji called out.

“Wasn’t working out.”

When Erwin guided Levi to the table, Levi tried to sit right on the edge but no one was having any of that. They forced Levi to sit front and centre for everyone to crowd around. Erwin squished in beside him, the bench becoming more crowded than it already was. Erwin would have protested but his knee brushed against Levi’s, and that was _perfectly fine._

Levi probably recognized a number of the soldiers when he had been captured in the Underground.

“Hi, I’m Mike.”

Erwin knew what was coming next. Levi stared at Mike in what could only be described as shock, getting the royal treatment – Mike had a habit of sniffing people he met.

“Can you smell Underground piss on him?” Rachel asked, a Squad Leader herself and almost old enough to be dubbed an _old-timer._

“Trademark Victory soap, more like,” Mike remarked. “And dust from the library.”

“Bullshit you know that. Were you at the library?”

“Yes?”

“Told you,” Mike said smugly.

Levi glanced at him, “You were in Erwin’s squad.”

“Outside the walls I’ve got my own squad. To get you, yeah. You tried to kill me, remember that?”

“You surprised me,” Levi chided. “I usually notice people sneaking up on me.”

“Taking it as a compliment,” Mike shrugged.

It didn’t take long for the initial excitement to die down. Everyone introduced themselves and soon the conversation drifted from names to all sorts of things – favourite foods and drinks, gossip, even politics. While Levi was mostly quiet, he interjected with a few sentences of his own thoughts albeit deadpan.

Of course, the conversation had to take a turn back to Levi.

“So I still don’t understand how you survived so _well_ Underground,” Rachel said. “There’s so much starvation and illness. Did you just avoid all that?”

Levi considered the question for a moment. Erwin was ready to take over at any minute Levi felt uncomfortable or even threatened.

“I starved for a bit. Then I stole food. Then I stole other things. Once I had the gear it was easy to teach myself and it made surviving in that piss hole easier.”

“You taught yourself how to use maneuver gear?” Hanji asked.

“I thought we were discussing this over… _coffee?”_

Wolf-whistles came from both sides of the table. Hanji waved her hand dismissively while Levi just looked confused. “For science!” she claimed proudly. “I do nothing more!”

“Four-Eyes, I don’t know what coffee is,” Levi said grumpily.

“Coffee doesn’t exist _Underground?”_ Hanji was going to faint. “It’s a beverage of the gods!”

“Hanji doesn’t wake up without at least two galleons every morning,” Erwin chipped in.

Levi didn’t seem impressed. “There’s _tea,_ but other than that it’s alcohol on the black market or sewer water.” At this, Levi took a sip of his own tea, holding the mug by the rim.

Hanji _tsked._

Everyone chatted for at least another hour before people started to make their way back to their own quarters. Levi left with Erwin, and although Levi wasn’t going to admit it, Erwin was sure Levi enjoyed himself.

Erwin did too. He invited Levi to stay in his quarters for a few drinks, and as it turned out Levi was a lightweight and got tipsy on one glass. Levi also turned out to be even more brash and abrasive when intoxicated and Erwin found this only to be incredibly entertaining. He really couldn’t explain what he liked about it – the boldness of an attitude so blunt and indifferent to the world or maybe he simply liked that Levi wasn’t showering him in manners and calling him _Sir_ or _General._

At around midnight, Erwin kind of liked Levi’s face too even when he was being sullen and complaining about _Military Police pigs._

At 1AM, Levi had stumbled back to his own room and Erwin had crashed on his own bed, a little drunk and a little in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, chapter with stuff. Considering Levi probably didn't have any schooling, there is no way his spelling or reading is perfect in any way. But let's just say he has the ability to talk like a dapper motherfucker.
> 
> Enjoy! Thanks for all the comments etc xoxo


	5. Chapter 5

Weeks passed. The soldiers Levi had once so venomously despised started to become comrades in his eyes and his training began involving teamwork and tactical manoeuvring. 

Erwin would have liked to say that Levi had made friends, but that wasn’t entirely true. He was naturally hard to talk to, difficult to be with. He liked to be alone. Yet despite his abrasive attitude, Hanji never missed a beat in striking up conversation and of course, every night, Levi would invite himself into Erwin’s quarters. 

It was nice and at the same time, frustrating. Erwin liked Levi’s company for some unexplainable reason (almost everyone else had some sort of threshold for Levi’s disdainful dialogue) but as the days clocked by Erwin was desperate to scratch at more layers. This time, it was what it was like to touch lean muscle, small bones, soft skin. It was lifting the sullen stare and finding someone smiling back. It was vulnerability, shared by raw touch. 

Like an awkward teenager with a stupid crush, Erwin had done absolutely nothing. 

To be fair, Erwin wasn’t sure if Levi even had feelings that extended beyond vague respect and likability to other people. He probably desired going beyond the wall more than he desired another human being’s touch. He didn’t like being touched. 

It would have been easy to ask. _Have you had a girlfriend?_ Even that would have answered a lot. A no could have meant a possibility or a confirmation of asexuality. A yes could also mean a possibility or a confirmation of heterosexuality. Either way, there was a possibility. But Erwin didn’t ask because the idea of having a possibility was a risk. It was hope and distraction and Erwin had long accepted the fact he could die at any time in his life. 

And anyway, the Survey Corps were going beyond the wall. In two weeks. And as usual, Erwin would be the one to announce the news.

It was in the mess hall where he delivered the message, in the morning where faces were puffy and tired. He spotted Levi drinking tea with Hanji, Nanaba and Mike. 

Erwin crossed to the front of the hall, standing on an elevated stage. Everyone had noticed him. Some faces had become pale. Others were serious, knowing the news that was going to be shared.

The entire hall became deathly silent. Erwin didn’t even have to say anything.

“Good morning,” Erwin started, a little lamely. “You all probably know what I’m going to say, but as always the following etiquette applies,” Erwin opened the folded piece of paper. “In Commander Keith Shadis’ place, I here act as speaker for his orders, signed and authorised by Commander Keith Shadis of the Survey Corps, Commander in Chief Darius Zackly and myself, General Erwin Smith.

“In two weeks time exactly, the Survey Corps are to head beyond the walls with the mission to create further sentry points on the North East sector from Shiganshina for development of human expansion. The request for scientific advancement from the Fourth Squad led by Squad Leader Hanji Zoe has been rejected on the reason of –”

“What the _fuck?”_ Hanji screeched, almost knocking her chair over as she stood up. “But I fucking said –”

“Hanji,” Erwin said, “sit.” The command was clear and simple, and slowly Hanji returned to her seat. He gave her a sympathetic look, knowing the setbacks it could cost her.

“As I was saying, on the reason of priority. At this point in time, Commander in Chief Darius Zackly wishes to focus on human expansion and to risk dividing the army to gain scientific knowledge on Titans seriously cuts back resources that could have been used to aid said priority.”

Hanji looked like she was going to say something else, but Erwin saw Levi telling her something. Probably to sit down and shut the fuck up, most likely.

“In order to create the further sentry points on the North East sector, the scouting expedition will need the following preparation…”

The next half hour was spent detailing how many horses, carts, food supplies, water canteens and spare uniforms were needed. The squads were rostered in formation outside the mess hall, though little alterations had been made. Levi was placed with Mike’s squad. Later on, Levi asked why he hadn’t been put in Erwin’s squad and Erwin replied with “Because they want to see you fight and kill Titans, and you won’t be doing that in the safest position of the entire formation.”

While Levi hadn’t made any more complaints, Erwin knew something was amiss. As soldiers tensely prepared for the long haul beyond the walls (cleaning their gear, regular workouts...) Levi disappeared from the weights and the work-outs into his room for the better half of two weeks, brooding more than usual and absent at random times from the mess hall. He started visiting Erwin less too. It didn’t take long for Erwin to start missing the oddly houred visits from Levi during the day and night. He would sometimes glance up from his paperwork in the hope that maybe Levi had slipped in and was making himself comfortable on the couch or pouring himself a glass of whiskey from Erwin’s cabinet. But none of that happened. 

All those layers that had been scratched away were coming back, like tough animal hide. The desire to grab Levi by the shoulders and shake him was strong. 

Two days before the Survey Corps was scheduled to leave, Erwin understood Levi’s behaviour.

“I can’t believe you would fucking do this. I don’t even have the patience to even _pretend_ to be calm because I’m still trying to understand what kind of fucking idiot would make such a stupid decision in _stealing five hundred taxpayer dollars!”_ Erwin growled, glaring down at Levi. “I _trusted_ you. I thought you were ready to do this, and instead you do something so fucking idiotic as _stealing!_ Do you not realise we’re going beyond the wall in two days?! Or is that why you did it, because in reality you’re nothing but a craven bastard?”

Levi looked down at the floor, shoulders hunched as he sunk into the chair in front of Erwin’s desk. He shrugged.

“What did you even do with that money, huh? Whores and drugs?”

“No,” Levi muttered.

Erwin groaned. “You fucking idiot. This might ruin me. You’re off to the Military Police, no doubt. I’m probably going to be demoted for having such a fucking _threat_ brought into the system. Maybe they’ll just throw me out onto the streets too!” 

Levi said nothing.

“Look up. That’s an order.”

Levi raised his chin, irises flicking up to Erwin. He was tense, tendons poking out of his neck and fists clenched.

“Another order. Answer this question. What the fuck did you do with that money?”

Levi bit on his lip. He shrugged again. 

_“Answer me, Levi,”_ Erwin said warningly, his own fists tightening. He was ready to punch him in the face. Didn’t Levi realise that he didn’t have to be alone? That Erwin fucking cared? He didn’t want Levi to be a fuck up.

Levi leaned forward in his chair, a glare plastered all over his face. “Bite me.”

“You son-of-a-bitch,” Erwin grabbed at Levi’s collar and pulled him up from the chair, both men leaning over the desk in angry huffs. “I’m going to make you fucking talk. I don’t care how fucking long we spend in this room.”

Their angry stares locked in a contest of sorts, then Levi, teasingly, said, “Do you treat all your comrades this way, General?”

Maybe it was the atmosphere. The screaming, the hot temperature of rage and hotheaded fury clouded Erwin’s judgment. With Levi’s breath warm next to his face, and the flush of being mocked, well, it did something.

Erwin literally knocked heads with Levi, forehead aching and nose pressed against nose as Erwin smashed his lips against Levi’s. For the first few seconds, jaws were clenched in a strange heated kiss, Levi’s eyes wide open as he started to process what was going on. Then, Erwin moved his jaw gently, bottom lip sliding over Levi’s. Levi’s shoulders dropped and to Erwin’s surprise Levi was kissing _back,_ slipping his tongue in as Erwin opened his mouth. 

Tongues clashed in the first instance, the awkward moment of remembering how to kiss and rediscovering the feel of it in a person entirely new. It was a little sloppy, teeth banged once or twice, but it didn’t matter. There was a buzz, the excitement of spontaneity and passion. 

But it was becoming painfully obvious of the rather large desk in between them. To fix the problem, Erwin held Levi’s jaw in his, keeping their lips locked as he shifted around the desk as subtle as he could. Levi leaned into him, desperate to keep the kiss alive. Once Erwin got his hips past the last corner, their arms pulled into each other, body against body. Erwin touched his shoulders and his arms then tugged at the front of his shirt while Levi grabbed at his neck and in a bold move lifted his knee in between Erwin’s legs.

Erwin let out a breath of hot air into the kiss, the temperature in his cheeks moving to the tightness in his pants. The stray knee began to make circles and Erwin made a sound in the back of his throat. Before his own knees went, he lent his hips onto the edge of the table, allowing Levi more space between his legs. Erwin had to arch his back over to reach down to Levi’s mouth, and Levi stretched his neck and jutted his chin up to do the same. Levi bit gently onto Erwin’s lower lip and pushed his knee further up into his crotch, massaging and rolling over Erwin’s now obvious boner.

“ _Fuck,”_ Erwin moaned, for an instant breaking away from Levi’s mouth. When Erwin went back for Levi’s lips, he could feel the smirk. The fucker. He wanted to make Erwin scream.

Then, Levi trailed kisses to Erwin’s neck and his hands had made their way to the buckle on Erwin’s belt, impatiently pulling as he made circles with his tongue on Erwin’s skin. 

_Knock knock knock._

Whatever Levi’s plans were, they diminished in the very second someone’s knuckles rapped upon Erwin’s door. He pulled away and dropped back into his chair all in one very fluid movement, patting his hair down as a final adjustment. Erwin straightened his clothes, the saliva on Erwin’s lips and neck tingling in a moment of hyper-awareness. 

“Come in,” Erwin said as best he could, standing up straight as the door opened. 

It was the Commander himself. He was totally oblivious.

“Have you sorted this mess out yet?” he asked, glancing to Levi whose eyes were glued to the floor.

 _I’ve probably only made more of a mess, really,_ Erwin thought to himself. “Coming to an understanding, I would say,” he replied lightly, not trusting his own voice.

“Well, I want the situation sorted. We’re still going to take this mutt on the expedition with us, however. Only after I’ve seen him out there will I decide what to do with him.”

Erwin just nodded. 

“Anyway, I want a word with you alone. Levi, return to your room.” The Commander hardly even glanced to Levi as he got up from his chair and walked to the doorway, all the while keeping his head low with strands of his wispy hair obscuring his eyes. He left and closed the door behind him.

Erwin took his own chair, wondering if he could pay attention enough to listen to a word of what the Commander had to say. He started building a small grudge against the man, only because he kept thinking of what Levi was going to do if they hadn’t been interrupted.


	6. Chapter 6

Every time the portcullis was raised, the barrier dividing humanity to the outside world suddenly seemed very small to Erwin Smith. If only humanity realised as they longed for the freedom of the earth once again that they only had to open the gate. But fear controlled people like a dog controlled a flock of sheep. And the paddocks that humanity had resided in for the past century flourished with green grass, so many thought there was simply no point of ever escaping – little did they know that the mere taste of freedom trumped a lifetime in security. The wall made humans livestock, but beyond it Erwin was a bird inhaling fresh air, rather than the heavy and suffocating pollution that marinated within the city walls. 

The host trotted through the gate and like every other time, Erwin felt the barrier he passed through. He felt the weight lift from his shoulders, the atmosphere that suffocated him dissipating into nothing. He inhaled deeply, his eyes shut momentarily in a moment of cleansing. If only everyone else could feel it, could understand the untouched beauty of the world unexplored. Maybe then more would be inclined to join the fight. It was a simple moment like this that made the sacrifices worth it.

Further down the host, Levi’s heart was pounding as he approached the raised portcullis. His expression gave away no sign of interest but the longing of escaping the walls had been an unattainable dream for so long it was hard to believe he truly was going to be out there in the untamed wild. For a very long time, Levi believed he had been sentenced to a life of filth and garbage. He was an exile from birth and he should have died one; instead someone believed he was better than the mud that stuck to his skin and for the first time in his life, he was willing to believe it himself. That _someone_ – his chest tightened at the thought – showed him there was a light at the end of the tunnel. This was it, the welcoming archway into the brightly lit fields beyond the walls that had been his prison for the last twenty-nine years. And he was going to _fly._

It was a struggle not to give into the temptation of flicking the reins and galloping in front of the large host. His hands shook as the adrenaline pumped through his body. He wiped a sweaty hand on his pants then held the reins loosely, allowing his horse to follow the wagon in front herself. She was a beautiful beast, black as coal with dark eyes and a thick mane that had been left uncut for a while now, making her seem ragged and wild. Yet she was gentle and patient in personality, Levi had learned while training. 

Levi passed underneath the portcullis and held his breath. For a moment he was shrouded in darkness and then the sun pelt down on him in golden rays of warmth. He looked up, eyes squinting as he peered into the horizon. What a _sight._ The landscape went on and on, cascading hills and valleys in the distance of greens and blues with trees of every kind scattered across the lush grasses. He inhaled through his nose, the smells so vibrant that he saw paisley. The wall was just behind him but already everything was so new and different – every sense was aware of the gentle breeze and the open air and the wafting pollen. He could taste dripping honey and elderberries, warm golden colours filling his chest with a soft, strange fuzz of tranquility. He could _drink_ the air, feel it burn the back of his throat like lemonade on a humid summer’s day. 

For a second, he wished he wasn’t out here to fight.

As the Survey Corps advanced into Titan territory, all seemed still. It gave Levi time to think – to reevaluate his life up until this point and the very strange string of events that were all new and recent. 

“I want to make a confession and I feel bad that I’ve kept this from you but I did it for a very good reason.” Levi had approached Erwin midday where everyone was distracted in their own duties. He had a feeling Erwin knew the money was missing. Funds didn’t disappear for any reason.

Erwin had looked up from the desk he had devoted himself to with a look of concern across his face. It only made Levi feel worse knowing he was confessing to deceit and crime. “What is it?” Erwin asked softly, always caring and always willing to listen.

Levi hadn’t sat down. He stood by the door awkwardly, expecting maybe to escape in case things got out of control.

“I just want to stress here, I had my reasons,” Levi said, knowing he was avoiding the truth. It was all excuses.

“Levi?”

“And I hope you forgive me and don’t get mad, but you might.”

“I’d like you to tell me what you did, because now I’m beginning to feel I should be concerned,” Erwin said. 

Levi sucked in a deep breath. “I stole five hundred dollars from the Survey Corps fund pool because it was there and like I said I had a very good reason –”

“You _motherfucker._ ” In an instant Erwin had leaped over the desk and made a swipe at Levi but he was prepared; he bolted out of Erwin’s quarters and ran down the hall, Erwin close at his heel while swearing colourful insults at Levi. Stupidly, Levi hadn’t thought of a plan any further than running away and in a desperate attempt to escape found an open door that led down a staircase to an empty dungeon. He was cornered and Erwin was a formidable opponent. If he tried defending himself Erwin and he would not walk away unscathed. Injuries so close to the expedition were an unwise move and so Levi did what he was familiar with: he raised his hands in surrender and dropped to his knees. 

Erwin did not attack Levi. He humiliated him. He dragged him back to his quarters and let him sit there, handcuffed to the leg of the desk. Erwin left him for hours. When he returned and the handcuff was taken off, Levi expected to be thrown back into the Underground like an unwanted mutt. The opposite happened. Whatever happened in Erwin’s quarters was strange and spontaneous and entirely human in experience, an effect caused by heated emotions and a delirious train of thought – at least that was what Levi had convinced himself. Erwin hadn’t spoken to him since the… _incident._ Not because they were both avoiding each other like spotty teenagers who still blushed at the word ‘sex’. Levi had been thrust back into the duty of preparing for the expedition and Erwin was as always swamped in paperwork. 

Levi wished he told Erwin what he did with the money. He was still analysing every word exchanged in their last encounter: _What did you even do with that money, huh? Whores and drugs?_ Is that what Erwin thought of him? Was it the perspective of a privileged man who thought Underground thugs lived for sex and smack, or was it Erwin’s assumption that to deal with stress Levi indulged in lust and hungered for a hit to escape the terrifying worry that he could die? Yet a critical analysis of dialogue could hardly mean anything when all it took was Levi’s knee for Erwin to moan _fuck._ One small _fuck_ meant that Erwin was _turned_ on and for some stupid, unknown reason, _wanted Levi._

The last person to want Levi was a streetwalker only known as Lolly with herpes on her face and half her hair falling out. And that was six years ago. Simply put, Levi was _damn well out of practice._ He had never been one for involving himself in relationships. Maybe it was because he struggled with sentimentality.

It was no use concerning himself over such a trivial matter now. There was a fight to be had. As the host moved further away from Wall Maria, Commander Shadis gave orders for the squads to spread out in formation. Levi was situated in the upper right with Mike’s squad. Mike had warned him that if the clearing was devoid of Titans for too long, it generally meant a harder fight up ahead. Never relax, remain alert. Levi kept this in mind, his grey eyes glancing left and right into the hills and mountains on the horizon. Squinting, Levi saw snow on the peaks of some of the higher mountains, half unseen as they ascended into the heavens above. He looked further. Trees scattered the countryside. Was that a Titan? Or was it simply his eyes playing tricks on him? 

For a while, all was still and silent. Levi wouldn’t say he was scared of an encounter with a Titan – albeit curious and in high anticipation. The desire to hack their brains out was strong, but Levi kept repeating the weak spot that had been hammered into his brain for the past month. _Ten centimetres wide times one metre tall at the back of the neck. Ten centimetres wide times one metre tall._ All his blades were sharpened to a fine point. He had enough gas in his gear to last for a good four hours continuously. Yet as he searched for Titans in the distance it was becoming clear that using the gear was going to be a problem. Around him was nothing but flat plains. They wouldn’t be approaching any terrain or foliage for another hour at least. 

“I can smell Titan,” Mike announced suddenly. His squad squirmed and Levi craned his neck to the side, a little confused. 

“It’s heading West. Be prepared to engage in battle. 

Then Levi heard thumps, the ground beginning to tremor and the valley they were in echoing like thunder. Then, there was a screeching roar. 

It was coming straight at them.

“Disengage your horses,” Mike yelled to his squad. “We have a ten-metre class heading straight at us. Patrick, Jana, _now._ ”

Patrick and Jana jumped off of their saddles, and before they had even started falling the gas propelled them into the air. The Titan was almost above them, twenty metres away from impact. With the grappling hooks, they aimed at the Achilles tendons on both sides. Their blades dug into the heel and the Titan came clumsily crashing down. Levi clenched his fists on the reins, watching somewhat enviously as Jana flew up to the Titan’s head and cut into its weak spot.

It was an ugly thing. It was sexless and its glassy eyes stared at Levi as he passed, lipless mouth agape and tongue lolling out. 

The thunderous pounds continued on. This wasn’t the only Titan. Suddenly, out of the smoke caused by the dead Titan another three appeared. Two fifteen-metre classes and an eight-metre class. Patrick barely had time to maneuver out of the grasp of one of the Titans. It picked him up like a little girl clutched onto her doll and squeezed him tightly. When Patrick died, Levi almost expected to hear something pop. When a human was crushed, there was more squelching and crunching of bone and organs. Blood dripped from the bottom of the Titan’s fist.

Mike had scarcely shouted the instructions before Levi had bounded off his horse and aimed for one of the fifteen-metre. He spun, splitting the back of both its knees in one swift stroke before flying up to its neck. _Ten centimetres wide times one metre tall._ He pulled his arm back and swiped his blade across the thick flesh. It oozed hot blood. He did it. As the Titan fell, he pulled his entire body back and for a second he was upside down in the air, surveying the scene. Two left. Not enough time to try and severe their legs. The other fifteen-metre held its arm out. As its hand closed Levi spun his body and slipped through its fingers. The blades cut a straight line up its arm and then Levi made another slash at another neck. It started falling too. The eight-metre roared and leapt up to where Levi stood at the dead Titan’s nape.

“Stupid move,” Levi muttered. He somersaulted over the eight-metre class’ head. One stroke. It fell down to the ground mid-air. Levi glided to the top of the eight-metre class, standing on its head as he wiped his blades and returned them to the metal case.

It was still and quiet once again and the switch in his brain that told him to fight had turned off. His stomach churned. Someone had died. Levi had watched their body liquefy and the life force inside of them squeeze out of them. That couldn’t happen again. Levi could have prevented Patrick’s fate but instead he sat on his horse from afar until he had died. The worst part was, Levi saw it all and only felt apathy; he expected Death to arrive.

He returned to his horse. Jana and Thomas wrapping up Patrick’s remains in hessian. They draped his corpse over his horse.

“Thomas, take Patrick and his horse to the wagons,” Mike said softly. “Then, give this message to Commander Shadis.”

When Patrick left, Mike called Levi to his side. Levi jerked the reins and steadied his horse next to Mike.

“What you did just then, can you do it again?” Mike asked. “With full confidence?”

Levi nodded.

“Good. There are two more Titans coming our way. Agile. Maybe Deviant.”

Levi drew his blades. “I’ll still kill them.”

When the two Titans did approach Mike’s squad, Levi sunk his blades into their necks before they could even take a swipe at him. Realising that the squad had all been staring at him dumbfounded, Levi said, “They’re stupid. They gave me a clear opening.” He hopped back onto his horse and rode in silence.

They encountered one more Titan before they arrived at their destination. Mike assisted that time and while Levi respected Mike’s own incredible talent he didn’t feel the help was needed. 

At the site, Levi felt sick when he saw the amount of bodies they had already collected. With only one death from Mike’s squad, Levi forgot that other squads were also engaging with Titans. Twenty bodies all tied up in hessian were stacked up in one of the wagons, like pigs for the slaughter. Levi didn’t shed a tear. There was nothing he could do. Their lives had been taken from the world and no one was bringing them back. Death had greeted them all with its arms open.

The Survey Corps wasted no time in organising a strategy at the site. Those assigned to fight the Titans firsthand were positioned around the main body, temporary lookouts posted for better vantage points. If a Titan was spotted then a red flare was to be fired. If the Titan were a threat, then they engaged in killing it. While the fighting units surveyed the area, the other factions got down to work. It included mapping the geography of the area, building a foundation for a new wall and sending scouts beyond the site to discover new regions. 

For the most part, it had been relatively quiet. A handful of Titans had approached but all had been manageable, and in the space of six hours there was only one casualty. So when a red flare was fired into the air, Levi’s pulse barely changed pace. Any desire to help was absent – the Titan was on the opposite side of the site. Instead, he exhaled a breath of cold air, the icy air cold on his tongue and still. Staring ahead, into the endless countryside, he indulged in the quietness knowing that somewhere else his comrades were risking their lives. Maybe right now, someone was dying. While someone’s life was taken from them, Levi thought the atmosphere poetic. Death, when descending, did not create thunder and rain clouds. Its art was far more subtle; a cold bite, a knot in your stomach, the strange idea that something you once had had disappeared, not lost but gone. 

Then, in the sharp, cold light, a darkness blocked out the sun’s rays. For a second, Levi felt sick as his instinct told him what the black smoke meant, yet he felt as if he had been starved of the final light he would ever see like a convict desperate to keep his eyes open in broad daylight before the axe swung down and took his life away. A beat, and like time had slowed down one blink transformed the black omen from a vision of death to one of panic. The smoke cleared and comrades were yelling, throwing themselves into the air and making orders. The soldier within Levi kicked in and he followed, his brain trying to process the situation around him. Someone had died. Titans were killing people. Titans were infiltrating the camp. Titans were destroying human endeavour. 

Levi swung himself through the landscape, grappling off trees and gaining momentum in the air. The wind burnt his skin as he sped past his comrades, eyes set before him. Just before the clearing, Levi hurtled himself into the air and looked down onto the carnage, hearing before seeing. As the smoke cleared, the crushing and screaming of human terror filled his ears and he saw a mass of Titans, the grotesque creatures that they were, devouring the men and women he had familiarised himself for the past two months. Death was walking among them and Levi could see it. 

He dived for the closest neck. _Ten centimetres wide times one metre tall._ His blade sunk into the thick, hot skin and blood splattered across him. Then, it was a frenzy as he plunged his blades continuously Titan after Titan, his gut controlling his movements while he dipped into his own subconscious. His body moved for him and he was spinning; everyone was but a blur and he was a speeding bullet. But it seemed, no matter how many Titans he had slain they never seemed to decline in number. But his frenzied trance was not to be stopped by a Titan attacking him, but a cry for help.

Levi stopped in his tracks, staring upwards at the giant monster in front of him. The monster stood at ten metres with a thin face and red, blotchy skin. It held a human in its grasp – Thomas. Death was walking past him; he felt its clammy, spindly fingers brush his neck and make his hair stand on end. In a moment of clarity, Levi knew all his crimes and mistakes he made in the past could be amended. This was his opportunity for penance and he knew he had to overtake Death if it caught up to Thomas before he could. 

Determined, grey eyes narrow and cold with concentration, he grappled upwards. Sever the muscle underneath the armpit. Slice the Achilles tendon. As it falls, aim for the weak spot. _Ten centimetres wide times one metre tall._

“Leave me!” screamed Thomas, voice choked up on his own terror. Tears streamed down his bloody face. He had given up. “You can’t s-save me!” Levi ducked underneath the Titan’s right arm, avoiding a slow swat from the disgruntled beast. Thinking it had hit Levi, it raised its right fist to its open jaws. Levi cut the muscle, but as he did so a terrible, blood-curdling scream came from Thomas. Levi flew back without thinking, jumping onto the Titan’s closed fist.

“Thomas!” he dug his blade in between the thumb and forefinger, hoping the Titan would let go. 

Instead, Death won. The Titan roared; hot, putrid air hitting his face the same time as warm blood and human gut. Levi stood there in shock for an instant, the bloody and salty face from Thomas’ tears distorted into a wreckage of oozing, bubbling goo over shattered bone and skull. The poetry in Death’s work disappeared and was instead replaced with the image that would continue to repeat itself in Levi’s mind for the rest of his short, pathetic life. 

The Titan’s hand moved underneath him and without warning, Levi lost his balance and fell. He was blinded temporarily, Thomas’ brains and inky blood smearing across him as he collided with the ground. Levi was bruised and in pain, but he was wondering whether there was a point to moving at all. Why bother? He was one soldier and Death was watching him. No one could fight Death and humans were so fragile, merely blood and earth. What gave him the horrendous idea that he could save anyone? He was nobody, a criminal without a penny to his name who stole from the rich and killed the weaker. A murderer doesn’t find penance or solace – he was a pawn in an idealistic plan to destroy the Titans and he had failed. No one could defeat them. In the end, Death took everyone and never gave back.

Noises sounded around him but they were an echo in his mind, blurred and unclear. His ears were ringing. He shut his eyes and let his body relax onto the cold grass. It was simply a matter of waiting for Death’s kiss.

_Levi._

Death touched his neck. Its hand was warm, pressing into his skin.

_Levi?_

He opened one eye lazily in his own confusion, wondering in his headache why Death felt so real and warm and…

_Blonde._

Like he had been kicked in the stomach, Levi sat up and coughed, feeling faint of breath. He stared at the man in front of him wildly, reality returning to him. Left and right soldiers fought against the enemy, dying and killing and screaming.

“Levi!” Erwin put his hands around Levi and pulled him onto his feet, “You’re okay. Fuck. Fuck.” His voice was laced with worry and something Erwin had never shown before – fear. Was he scared of his meeting with Death too? But then, Levi didn’t care. He had never felt more relieved to see his face and to be reminded of hope. Erwin didn’t give up; he didn’t allow him to die like Levi had.

“Thomas –” Levi started, trying to recollect his scattered thoughts.

“There was nothing you could do,” Erwin said, reaching out to Levi. Levi froze as Erwin tugged on something in his hair. He pulled back something bloody. It was a chunk of brain.

“Oh, _fuck,_ ” Levi was sick, suddenly aware of the heaviness of blood and guts, and he was covered in it. Overwhelmed, his knees shook and he almost fell down to the ground if Erwin hadn't grabbed his shoulders. Levi shuddered, shaking his head in defiance. "I can't do it," Levi said shakily, his breaths jagged and raw in his ribcage. 

Erwin stared at him, icy blue eyes locked on him, "I believe in you. You have to be strong. You have to try."

"I can't try, I _c-can't_ -" Levi whimpered, and he felt the blood stick to him and hold him down, crushing his skull so he couldn't think and couldn't comprehend what was going around him. All he saw was smoke and terror and it was starting to go inside of him, the remains of Thomas' seeping into his skin forcing Levi to experience the pain and sacrifice of every soldier fighting for humanity's cause at this very second. 

"Trying is the point of life, Levi, so never stop trying. Can you promise me that? Can you do that for me?"

Levi continued to crumble, his words a jumble of mumbled madness and his nerves attacking his body so he was unable to stop the terrified shaking. 

“I know this is difficult,” Erwin dropped the chunk on the ground, “but I need you to fight. You can never give up. Our efforts can never be worthless. Everything you do means something and each life you save outweighs the ones you never can.”

If you could feel language, it would be a kick, because Erwin's words cut into him like a revelation from the walls themselves. He steadied his breathing and met Erwin's stare. “What if I make the wrong choice? What if the choice I make causes more deaths? How do I live with knowing I could have done something better?” Levi asked desperately, and in his questions leaked out his own soul that he thought he had lost. In those questions came the self-doubt and insecurities he had buried deep down inside of him. Now was the time for those problems to be solved.

“We can’t change the past and we can’t predict the future. You simply have to trust in yourself and your comrades. If you regret every choice you make, it won’t be the Titans that kill you.” Tenderly, Erwin brushed his thumb over Erwin’s forehead, pushing his hair still drying with Thomas’ blood. He kissed his forehead and before Levi could say anything else, Erwin had disappeared into the smoky battlefield. 

Levi still felt Erwin’s dry lips tingling on his skin. 

Unafraid, he returned to the air. For penance, for bravery, for Isabel and Farlan and for his mother and for Erwin and the rest of humanity, he would never fall again. 

_I promise,_ Levi thought and one day Erwin would know that Levi always kept his promise even if Erwin never knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really pleased with how this chapter turned out, despite its heavy content. For once I actually edited it which I'm usually to lazy to do with fanfiction. Note the two vague references I slipped in, one from Welcome to Night Vale (that tweet that told us we were blood and earth, not theory and chalk) and a paraphrased lyric from Amanda Palmer's song 'Bigger on the Inside' (trying is the point of life so you have to keep trying, promise me)
> 
> I want to point out at this point that I got a Mac for Christmas and since it's a stupid American brand, Microsoft Word has now been autocorrecting all of my spelling the American way (eg. Realise into realize and colour into color). This chapter I have gone through and changed it to the English/Australian spelling. It does mean the other chapters are wrought with inconsistencies in English spelling, however. 
> 
> This chapter was also split into two. I was going to show the aftermath and how Levi coped with everything, but we can have a whole new delicious chapter exploring those themes later on.
> 
> Thanks for all the support, guys! x


	7. Chapter 7

His skin was prune-like in the lukewarm water. No matter how long he spent trying to be clean, he still felt the blood sticky on him. He scrubbed so much that his torso turned red and his palms began to bleed, and as the cracked skin forced red beads to drip down his hands he felt nauseous, a fleeting memory of organs and blood combusting returning to him. With raw fingers he scratched his scalp, flakes of dead skin falling from his hair not like snow but like the dead autumn leaves dropping off until only a skeleton remained.

It was hours still before he dried off and dressed himself. When he saw his hands smeared with his own blood, he pulled his clothes off again, knowing they were stained and searched for bandages instead. He cleaned off the blood and peeling skin, long streaks from desperate clawing and tightly bandaged his palms while ignoring the throbbing pain. He dressed again, now with clean hands. They didn't feel clean, though. Then, Levi discarded his clothes for cleaning and scrubbed the bathtub spotless. 

He stared at himself in the mirror, bags underneath his eyes revealing he hadn't slept at all. 

What frustrated him most about the whole ordeal was the sudden dislike for blood - or _anything_ for that matter. He was not a stranger to blood. He had felt it pooling onto his very hand that had plunged a knife into a man's stomach. He had tasted blood when he bit down into someone's arm. He was, before his life had been turned upside down to a road of redemption, a lowly, filthy _murderer._ The label he once knew now tasted bad in his mouth and no matter how fucking awful his victims were, how bad they were, he still regretted it. 

And despite all that, they were calling him a hero. 

*** 

The day Levi set foot into a courtroom he expected it would be to trial his own death. Not a goddamned _promotion,_ for fuck's sake. Dressed up in a stiff suit, tailored and pressed, he was carted off to the very centre of Wall Sina where stuffy old men clapped him on the back and plump women kissed him on the cheek. It was all very bizarre. Yet the pomp and proper demeanour of these people reminded him why he was a criminal: they were all fucking idiots. _Job well done,_ they said, like he had put his life on the line beyond the walls for them? He was kicking Titan ass, not licking posh-Sina cock.

But despite the praise, he still felt eyes cut into him - they saw who he was and the superiors in suits wanted to crush him as soon as that promotion was given. Underground trash didn't simply become someone without reparations. Maybe they would suspend his title until the foreseeable future. If he was especially unlucky, community service. Or worse, knowing some of the perverted pigs in the stands, prostituting himself to them for relentless months. 

Whatever the outcome, he expected a brutal one. Promotion or no - not that he even wanted it in the first place - Levi was going to have to play the trial on his knees. Whether it was figuratively or literally, he couldn't tell yet. 

The judge was Darius Zackly, who, having silenced the court, opened a scroll and read out Levi's limited credentials. "Levi, last name unknown, birthdate unknown. Criminal record: six accounts of conspiring to a crime; nine accounts of robbery with an offensive weapon; four accounts of resisting arrest; thirteen accounts of manslaughter; sixteen accounts of murder with intent; nineteen accounts of grievous bodily harm..."

The list went on and on. It didn't help that these were only the charges that had been _recorded,_ God forbid the Military Police knew how many accounts of such and such he had truly committed. As Zackly continued reading through the list, his audience was beginning to turn on him. The Sina officials who applauded him on his successful endeavour outside the wall were now whispering back and forth, making decisions on what to do with him and giving him cold stares. He wanted to punch something, destroy and mutilate and let his anger take over. He couldn't do that anymore. He had to stay still.

Levi glanced over to where his comrades stood in the stalls. All the squad leaders were there, including Erwin and Commander Shadis. Erwin wasn't looking at him; he was surveying his own notes, writing down more and passing some to Shadis who would nod every now and then. Erwin told him he had a plan, had even spoken to some of the Sina officials and Military Police superiors - apparently he was friends with one of those pigs since his own training days - and assured him there was little the Military Police could do to affect his current position within the Survey Corps. Yet here he was, his past revealed to the world and his wrists chafing in the cold handcuffs. He was thanking everything unknown in the world that they only requested he sit in a chair, and not tie him up to a bloody pole like an untamed wolf. 

As Zackly continued reading, finishing his criminal record and moving on to the nature of his court case, introducing such and such and outlining the situation, Levi returned his focus to Erwin. 

It was hard to believe he had once wanted to kill Erwin, to slice his throat open and harvest his entrails for the black market. Now, it was different. With no questions asked, Levi was blindly trusting him and giving him permission to take control. And why not? Erwin knew Levi's innermost fears and insecurities, knew his most private thoughts and had seen a side of him that Levi had never let anyone see before. 

It started in the dark.

When the Survey Corps returned from their expedition, Levi followed the host back to the quarters while his superiors left for the central wall, Sina. Levi assumed it was all talk, reports and dull legal responsibilities he had no care for. But as he wallowed in his own grief by himself and washed away the layers of sweat and blood, he wanted nothing more than to have Erwin tell him to keep trying, to be brave and fight. Erwin's calm, soothing speech had Levi itching for him. And it wasn't the desire, the excitement of their sloppy and spontaneous first kiss. It was the security Erwin brought Levi, the knowledge that Erwin trusted him and would do anything to keep Levi fighting. So Levi trusted him too. Yet days passed and Erwin was absent, and Levi was alone and fighting the churning pains in his stomach caused by his own grief and absence. 

Late at night, Levi woke up in his quarters in a sweat. He bathed and changed clothes, silent the whole time. Then, for the reason only that he missed Erwin's presence, he padded the sleeping halls like a stray cat until he found himself outside the General's closed door. He opened it tentatively. It was a little dusty, stuffy from its lack of use. Untouched papers sprawled across Erwin's desk. Closing the door behind him, Levi started stacking the papers in neat piles, putting away pens where they belonged, cleaning the wax seals and dusting the oaky desk. It made him feel a lot calmer once he had done that.

In the corner of the room, though not placed asymmetrically, was Erwin's bed. It was a huge, four-poster queen with intricate red curtains hiding his most intimate time. Levi had never been near his bed before; he had always opted for the lavish couch instead. Yet now, the desire to be under the covers that Erwin would, knowing Erwin's skin had touched those sheets, powerfully overcame his wits. He drew a curtain back, his eyes laying on the soft pillows and cozy duvet. He wanted to know what Erwin looked like waking up in the morning, the fierce stoicism replaced with disheveled bed hair and a scruffy five o'clock shadow. Did he sleep shirtless or in a singlet? In boxers or briefs - or; neither? The thought had Levi giddy and his face flushed. 

He crawled into Erwin's bed. The mattress indented on the right side and Levi knew he slept there, so he snuggled into the largeness of the depression, the duvet swallowing his small frame, and pretended he was holding Erwin instead of himself. 

Levi drifted off into sleep, dreaming of a particular blonde. He slept soundlessly, the familiar smell of cologne, sweat and cotton making up for the absence of thick muscles and calloused, scarred skin. 

"Levi?"

Zackly could have thrown a whole bucket of water on top of his head for all he knew. He was thrown out of his memories and reality returned to him. Disgusting. 

"Can you repeat that?" Levi asked, his voice giving away no indication of emotion.

"Can you confirm that your titan kill stands at twelve, currently?" Zackly repeated, patiently.

Levi nodded. "Yes." He wasn't really keeping count, especially not at the time. But it sounded about right. 

"Most of which were unassisted, correct?"

"Yes," Levi said.

"I see," Zackly pushed his glasses back on his nose, flipping through a report. "This number is incredibly outstanding. As we have no evidence except the word of your superiors, I wish to request a full recount of the expedition. Please, be detailed and honest. It will work in your favour."

Levi didn't particularly want to talk about it. He was still having nightmares of the blood and the screaming. He glanced to Erwin. Erwin caught his gaze and returned it with a nod and a comforting smile. It was enough. With a wave of confidence, he told them as much as he could remember. About the Titans, about the death and the fighting. He told them how he killed each one. He left out the falling, though, deciding it better not to let them know how affected he was. 

When he had finished, everyone was staring at him.

It didn't take long for the arguments to start. Levi sat in the middle of it all dumbly, unable to defend himself while the judiciary talked back and forth about Levi's worth as a soldier, his cooperation, his criminal record. It was one of the most boring things Levi had ever done, to be totally honest. He wondered if this was what Erwin had to do all day. Talk about shit. 

Yet, as the matter of stolen money entered the courtroom Levi shifted uncomfortably. He was going to have to confess here. Erwin told him to, but to keep his mouth shut when he could. 

"I stole it, yeah," Levi puffed. 

"Why?" Zackly asked, eyes narrowed. "That money doesn't belong to you. It's taxpayer dollars. Men and women worked hard so the military can have these funds, and yet you steal? I can't understand why, since to our knowledge you haven't used it on yourself. I'm concerned this may be recurring of you, and with your heavy criminal record it will be difficult for anyone to trust you won't do it again, or commit any crime for that matter."

Levi opened his mouth in defense but was immediately cut off by Erwin. "I'll take full responsibility for his actions," Erwin said boldly. Eyes to him. Shadis remained seated, calm. Obviously, this was planned. 

"Objection! The defendant should state his own rebuttal!" a Military Police pig yelled. Others joined in, and soon the hall was chaotic. Erwin hardly blinked, simply waited for Zackly to call for order.

"As I was saying," Erwin cleared his throat, "Levi's nature is an impulsive one, and while it would be reckless to allow him any further involvement in the Survey Corps, let alone a promotion, it was the very recklessness of giving him this chance that brought us to this conundrum in the first place. I admit, it was a risk to bring a criminal into the Corps, but already he has proved himself as a soldier. In the case of the stolen funds, the reason was entirely sentimental."

"Sentimentality does not excuse a crime, Erwin," Zackly's voice was thin.

"I couldn't agree more. But allow me to elaborate - if we allow Levi to remain in the Survey Corps, who knows what the future possibilities entail? What we achieve beyond the walls will only expand with Levi in the Corps. Certainly, a risk is a risk and suppose he steals again... the money is replaceable. A dead squad is not."

It was flattering, Levi supposed, to hear Erwin arguments. Then again, it was all planned and precise. 

"Those funds are replaceable?" 

"Like I stated, I will take responsibility for Levi's actions. I'm offering to return the funds from my own account. In exchange, Levi's punishment is dropped."

More yelling. That had everyone riling, and once again Erwin remained indifferent, merely waited for Zackly to intervene. Zackly asked for the Military Police's argument then. 

One of the officials stood up. Levi noticed he was staring nervously at Erwin, who in turn pulled out a small bundle of bound letters from his breast pocket. The look on Erwin's face was serious and fierce, blue eyes cold and threatening. It didn't take Levi long to work out what Erwin's actions meant - it was a threat. Of course. Corruption within the Military Police was rife. If the Military Police were trying to reprimand Levi, then Erwin had to play the same game - blackmail. 

"I've listened to all of the arguments attentively," Commander Nile Dawk said slowly. "While it is to the digression of my comrades, I can only agree with Erwin." Murmurs erupted through the audience. "Let the boy go. The only suggestion I can make is full-time supervision, and strong discipline." Dawk sat back down slowly.

Levi was pretty sure he heard a _'what the fuck Dawk'_ from the stalls among the angry shouts. Erwin was slipping the bundle of papers back into his jacket, a small but incredibly smug look plastered over his face. Shadis gave him a nudge with his elbow.

"At this point, I would request Levi's promotion to a squad leader," Erwin said. The case had been won. Levi couldn't believe it. Here he was, thinking he was going to be sucking dick for the next year yet it had been Erwin doing the dick sucking for him. This time, definitely figuratively. He wondered how many strings Erwin had to pull to even find proof of corruption. 

Levi watched Zackly intently as he pushed his glasses to the bridge of his nose again. Then, "All charges against Levi have been dismissed. Erwin Smith is to pay the stolen funds upfront for Levi. Levi is to swear an oath of loyalty after his promotion to a squad leader. Furthermore, Erwin Smith is to be his supervisor for the next six months and should Levi's record remain clean, his supervision will end."

The hammer hit the table and Levi felt a wave of relief. His handcuffs were taken off and he rubbed his sore wrists, annoyed at the indentations in his skin. He glanced over to Erwin, who was shaking hands with Shadis. Erwin noticed Levi, though, and smiled at him.

Levi almost smiled back. 

*** 

When Erwin had returned from a week of gruelling meetings after the expedition, he wanted nothing more than to sleep. His muscles ached, his eyes stung and his head spun. Sometimes, with his more selfish thoughts, he wondered why he ever thought being Commander was an admirable goal. It was hard enough being a General. He should have just quit and gone back home where he could sleep all day and night. 

A stupid, juvenile thought, but at one o'clock in the morning it seemed fairly rational. 

He slumped to his quarters, eyelids drooping. Once inside, he locked the door and threw off his heavy clothes, dumping them on the floor. He could deal with that in the morning, right now his bed was his only destination. Stripped to his briefs, he stumbled to his bed and drew the curtain back. 

If it weren't for the moonlight pooling into the room, he wouldn't have seen. But there he was, the white light illuminating the small figure wrapped up in his sheets. His hands were balled up into fists against the fabric, back slowly moving up and down with his rhythmic breaths. A little awkwardly, Erwin brushed his hand over the younger man's hair, pushing it back gently. Sleeping, the scowl he wore had disappeared along with his anger, replaced with a gentleness Erwin never thought he would see. 

Erwin stroked his thumb across Levi's cheek, his calloused hands rough on Levi's soft skin. He wanted to kiss Levi in that moment, to tell him everything was going to be okay and reassure him. He didn't, not wanting to wake him. Instead, he climbed over Levi and shuffled underneath the covers. Erwin rolled over, his body cupping Levi's tiny frame easily.

He fell asleep not long after, comforted by Levi's gentle breathing, the moonlight and the peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took longer than usual! in my defence, i turned 18 recently and have been getting smashed waaay too often, hence being generally too hungover to write. also, this was a bitch of a chapter to write.
> 
> can't believe you still don't know why levi stole money. don't worry, all in good time. i've decided to make this only eight chapters because i'll be going to uni soon and won't have time to write, so better to stop now than never finish. 
> 
> sorry for the awful fluff and angst, i'm a sucker for it. 
> 
> though if u got any prompts or suggestions for continuing the story, i'll hear you out haha


	8. Epilogue

The moment of realising consciousness in the morning was always one of protest for Levi. The warmth in his belly drained as he made the mistake of barely opening his eyes; the damage was done and the morning light blinded him. His heavy-lidded eyes closed again, desperate to return to sleep. 

Restlessly, he flipped so he was facing opposite from the light source, his imagination drifting with hazy thoughts of the past week: mundane tasks of reports, cleaning the stables and working out. The domesticity of his dreams filled him with security, the simplicity a pleasure and the flitting images distracting him from the turmoil that had grounded him for the past week.

A week of nightmares drenched in blood and sweat. His palms had finally healed up but the hole in his heart threatened to grow larger, like pulling on a loose seam. Each time he replayed the memories of the expedition, he was slowly becoming more unraveled. Yet the morning was kind and he was basked in comforting heat.

Although rooted in his dreams for a while, his lids opened once more. His body wanted to wake. But instead of the blinding light from the far window, a fuzzy image of golden hair and taut muscle greeted him instead.

In his hazy state of mind, Levi wasn't sure of the identity of this person that was sharing his bed. He blinked slowly, his eyelids still too heavy to stay open, and wondered if he was simply having an incredibly surreal dream. Then, as logic and reality returned and his dreams dissipated, Levi jolted at the realisation.

Erwin was in bed with him.

Had Erwin arrived in the night? It would explain why he was there. Then again, it didn't explain why he was _there._ With _him._ Surely Erwin would have seen Levi? Levi started to panic, afraid of the awkwardness that would ensue should Erwin wake up. 

Too late. Erwin opened an eye slowly, noticing the shuffling. He caught a glance from Levi, smiled gently, then closed his eyes again. 

Levi stared at him, a little confused. He nudged Erwin's shoulder, albeit timidly. To his surprise, Erwin replied with a stifled groan. "Five more minutes."

"Serious?" Levi said. 

Erwin was snoring. Already. Levi wanted to give him a good thump to get him moving, but simultaneously he was fascinated - the relaxed side of Erwin that Levi hadn't seen. The bleary eyes and the tousled hair look were endearingly modest, and the gentle smile and sleepy nature revealing someone more human. Levi's chest felt tight, his body surging with warmth as he listened to Erwin's quiet snores. 

Levi also noticed, at this point, that Erwin was shirtless. Needless to say, he was covered in scars, most from the 3DMG gear. He had the sudden urge to trace the scars with his finger, even though he had his own fair share of scars. They were different on Erwin, the lines a faded pink across the taut muscle, rippling across his abdomen and broad chest like a creek in a forest. 

A bit more confidence on his side, and adamant to wake Erwin up, Levi pressed a cold foot into Erwin's side. Erwin jerked and groaned again, the sound similar to that of a dying animal. Yet, he woke. He sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes and scratched at the stubble across his jaw.

"I said five minutes," Erwin croaked, his voice an octave lower than usual. 

"It's already seven-thirty," Levi shrugged. "You've slept in."

"So have you," Erwin raised an eyebrow.

Levi felt his face flush, knowing the double meaning in. _You've slept in late and in my bed._ Levi didn't say anything, not trusting himself to tag along with the banter.

The edge lifting from Erwin's voice, he gently said, "I have to take you to the military court."

"Mm," Levi hummed, already knowing the fact.

There was a pregnant pause, Levi staring intently ahead while ignoring Erwin's piercing gaze. 

"Why did you steal the money?" 

"Because I..." Levi trailed off. Betraying his pride, he turned his neck to face Erwin. Erwin, who was there to listen and to believe. Erwin, who didn't wake Levi up last night because he knew the comfort he brought him. They didn't have to tell each other all the feelings collected in the space between them, the raw emotions bundled like a swarm of flies - it was what Levi heard, in the pause - and Levi knew he needed him. And more importantly, could trust him.

"For Isabel and Farlan. I did it for them. So they could be safe when I wouldn't be there for them." The truth tumbled out of Levi and he had truly ripped off the band aid off a fresh wound. Pathetic, he thought, risking it all for two stupid criminals as lowly as he was. He may have proved himself on the field but a stupid mistake probably cost him any respect, and now he was being shipped off to the military court where he was going to present his ass to the Unicorns themselves. 

Erwin's eyes hadn't left him. "Okay," he said finally. Then, Erwin was leaning in and time was stopping, Levi frozen as he processed what was happening. Their lips met and unlike the first kiss it was soft and precise, Erwin's moving over his lightly. He cupped Levi's face with his calloused hands, stubble rubbing against Levi's skin; it was comforting. It was nice.

And that's all Levi could really say. _Nice._ Levi had never remembered a time when he could simply enjoy the simplicity of a moment. Levi's life had been a list of polar adjectives ranging from devastating to disgusting. But never had he had something _nice._ He took in the warmth radiating from Erwin's skin against his, the raise and fall of his chest, the soft touch on his lips.

Erwin stopped too soon for Levi's liking, resting his forehead against Levi's. He closed his eyes momentarily and all that could be heard was Erwin's breathing. 

"Would it ruin the moment if I told you I gotta take a dump?"

"Fuck you," Erwin pulled away, laughing. "Get outta here. I have to shower, anyway."

When Levi jumped off the bed and grabbed his clothes (it had in fact been his third night in Erwin's bed, so Erwin's presence was very much the surprise), quickly dressing in loose trousers and shirt. He felt Erwin's eyes piercing through him. 

Without another word, Levi hurried out of Erwin's quarters.

"See you later," Erwin said.

Levi's skin was electric.

*** 

He wasn't entirely sure how it happened. It started off normal - escorting Levi to the carriage and saying last goodbyes to various officials. Then they were leaving back for the Survey Corps headquarters and the carriage was too claustrophobic; too small and dark and hot.

Erwin was a fucking teenager.

" _Shh,_ " Erwin hissed through a stifled laugh, cupping his hand over Levi's. Levi struggled underneath Erwin, his legs tight around Erwin's waist. Erwin grinned and kissed him again, biting at his lower lip teasingly. In response, Levi jerked his hips against Erwin's and forced out a small gasp, the clothes between them making more friction than he would have liked. 

"How long we keeping this G-rated for, old man?" Levi grumbled through hot kisses.

"We're in a _carriage,_ " Erwin stressed, trailing kisses to Levi's neck. He circled his tongue over the dip in his collarbone and bit at the base of his neck. Levi shuddered, moaning again. He grinded his hips against Erwin's. 

"So?" Levi shot back, straining his neck to give Erwin more room. 

Erwin sucked at his neck, leaving a wet, red mark. "The driver will know."

"And?" Levi pestered, grabbing Erwin's jaw and bringing it back to his mouth. Their tongues collided. With all his self-control Erwin could muster, he pulled back.

"You really want to do this now?" Erwin asked incredulously, his head spinning from the heat in his pants and Levi's constant movements against his crotch.

"Well, you're hard as a rock already, so."

Erwin flushed, even though it was true. Levi tugged at his pants impatiently. As the blood rushed through his head, Erwin grabbed at Levi's wrists and brought them above his head, pinning them there while he snapped at Levi's exposed neck again. "You want to play a game?"

Levi _whined,_ his own impatience causing the high-pitched sound from his throat. He was so desperate; nothing was embarrassing him at this point. 

"If you promise to behave for the rest of the day," Erwin murmured into his ear as he licked Levi's lobe, "then tonight, I'm going to fuck you so hard you won't be able to move for a whole week."

"O-okay," Levi panted, his hips slowing. "You better fucking promise."

Erwin pecked the top of his nose lovingly, "I promise." He sat up and Levi wiggled underneath him, climbing back onto the seat. His hair stood at every direction, his cheeks shaded a dark pink and his neck... Something was going to have to cover that, Erwin realised with guilt, not that he really felt guilty. If anything, pride - the vain emotion of making someone yours with marks and reducing them to whining pleas. 

"What are you looking at?" Levi growled, although his embarrassment was evident.

"Nothing," Erwin said simply. He patted down his own hair and straightened his clothes. He sat down opposite Levi. "Pop your collar up when we get back to HQ."

Levi's cheeks turned an even darker red and he glowered. 

__

_~Three months later~_

It had been a gruelling day of training for Levi and by the late afternoon he was shot. Every muscle in his body ached, protesting against all movement and pulsating from the previous exertion. After mentally forcing himself to shower, he finally fell onto his bed, flopping onto the mattress and melting into it, his body sinking into the cushiony surface. Closing his eyes, Levi allowed himself to nap and soon he was softly snoring into his pillow.

Twenty minutes later, he came to and groaned at the mistake of stretching his legs. His hamstrings ached and for a moment he thought his core was literally going to snap. He groaned.

Then, there was a knock at the door. Levi scowled, spiteful of the knock. He was in agonising pain and someone dared to interrupt his wallowing in self-pity? Despite his body screaming protests, Levi managed to sit himself up. "Come in."

Hanji opened the door with a grin plastered across her face. It pissed Levi off even more. "What?" he said coldly.

"Aren't you a ball of sunshine?" Hanji said, leaning against the doorframe. "Good ol' Erwin wants to speak with you. We just finished a new strategy for capturing Titans, you know. To bring them back here!" Her eyes glazed over with strange lustful frenzy. "Imagine being able to examine a Titan up close!"

Levi snorted, "Hah. I hope it bites your legs off."

"Always a charmer, Levi," Hanji poked her tongue out. "Has your squad been authorised yet?"

"Erwin wants to finalise the new strategies first," Levi slid off the bed and shakily got to his feet, "I think he wants a sort of special operations squad, rather than another squad to fit a formation."

"Special operations meaning specifically to kill Titans?" 

"A tragedy in your eyes, I know, but yeah," Levi shoved past her. 

Hanji followed after, laughing. "You can just tell me all your experiences with Titans if you'll be up close and personal. Every Titan spotting contributes to science."

"You're obsessed," Levi told her bluntly. "I can't work with someone with mental problems like yours."

They came to the end of the hallway and Hanji cackled. She grabbed Levi's hair and ruffled it, "I could say the same! You wouldn't smile even if you became king and lived in a kingdom of cleanliness!" 

Levi swatted her hair, quickly patting his hair back down. "Piss off. Catch you later, you stinking idiot." They parted, Hanji's energetic wave returned with Levi's middle finger.

Within a few minutes Levi was rapping his knuckles on the General's door. From inside, he heard Erwin's voice give permission to enter and he walked in, gently shutting the door behind him. As per usual, Erwin was the office bitch, surrounded by towers of paperwork. Levi had suggested a more superior way of filing (it involved a cabinet) but apparently it was too much effort for his superior (it involved standing up to file) and so Levi was forced to endure Erwin's poor organisational skills in silence. 

Erwin looked up, the crease in his temples disappearing as his features relaxed. "Levi."

"Hanji said you wanted to see me," Levi said dryly, walking up to Erwin's desk. He pushed a stack of papers and the ink well to the side, making room for him to sit. He picked up the file in front of Erwin and flipped through it lazily, swearing when he realised it hadn't yet been blotted. A small smudge of black ink stained his thumb. "Tch."

"I really could have you punished with how little respect you treat your superior officers."

"I'm shaking with fear," Levi said flatly, reading over Hanji's proposal. Bring Titans inside the goddamn wall; what happened if they got loose? Well, Levi would kill them, yes, but it was still risky business.

"You don't look impressed," Erwin said, standing up from his desk.

"There's so many variables to work with here. No plan no matter how thorough isn't gonna go smoothly."

Erwin hummed, "I know." From the corner of his eye, Levi saw Erwin retrieve an elegant box from his bedside table. Levi paid it no attention, continuing to read over devices proposed to hold down a Titan in captivity. He hadn't warmed up to the idea, yet. He preferred Titans dead, really.

"So did you really need to speak to me or am I here because you're procrastinating?" Levi asked, then a hand was cupping his chin. He looked up to Erwin and huffed, "You're disgusting."

Erwin grinned. "I know. Here. I wanted to give you this." He placed the box in Levi's hand. Levi frowned, searching Erwin's expression for some clue as to what could be inside. Erwin was as unreadable as ever, merely nudging Levi's hand.

Levi sighed, "I hope it's beer," knowing it wasn't. He lifted the lid and placed it on the table. A fine sheet of paper covered the object contained. Levi lifted it gently and his eyes narrowed onto a... piece of cloth? He frowned and looked up to Erwin's stupid goofy grin. "Uh?"

"Take it out."

He picked up the silky fabric, taking note that it was tied in a strange way. Keeping its place he held it out then realised what it was. "A cravat?"

"Do you like it?"

Levi wanted to tell him it was the most utterly stupid thing, but in reality, he liked it. He tied it around his collar and adjusted his military jacket to fit the new addition. "Well?"

"A man of class," Erwin said. "Do you like it?" he repeated again.

"Of course I like it, you dolt." He hit Erwin over the head playfully, messing the blonde's perfectly combed do. He liked it better messy. "C'mere," he wrapped his arms around Erwin's neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

"Look at that, I've turned you into such a sentimental creature. Feelings and all," Erwin said, breaking the kiss.

Levi pouted, "Yeah, and because you're being a dick you're not getting any for the next week." He put the box down onto Erwin's desk and hopped off it, making his way to the door. He was stopped, Erwin grabbing onto his wrist and pulling him back into a deep embrace. 

"Mmm, you don't mean it."

"I mean it," Levi grumbled despite burrowing his face into Erwin's warm chest, searching for his heartbeat. He heard its thump and was instantly at ease, melting into the steady pulse. 

They stood there, comfortable in each other's arms, then Levi said, "People are going to ask where I got this lovely cravat from."

"Say a pretty girl got it for you."

"Are you saying you're a pretty girl, Erwin?" Levi teased.

"I'm very pretty," Erwin protested lightly, bringing Levi's chin up. He leaned down and Levi, despite aching muscles, stood on the balls of his feet to reach Erwin's mouth. It was sweet, Erwin's nose pressed against Levi's and their breath warm in each other's mouths. 

And of course, most simplistically, it was always nice. And Levi liked it that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh i finished i'm sorry it's probably really anti-climatic but i'm lazy and busy and eep
> 
> i could have gone with smut but i didn't think it was appropriate for the line of the story, and anyway i am a sucker for fluff c: 
> 
> hope you all liked it xoxo


End file.
